I used to be your common,typical girl. I had a personal Jiminy Cricket whispering in my ear "Let the culture be your guide!" I let the culture tell me what to do in every situation. I grew up believing I was smarter than most men, knew more about life than pretty much everyone (especially men) and didn't have a lot of use for men. Yet I wanted to be deeply loved, known by one special man and to build a life with someone that would last forever.
Things were going pretty well, but were never to the level I had dreamed of. I kept trying to be in charge of our family, always generously sharing my knowledge of everything and pretended like my relationships just weren't that important to me.
Then life called my bluff. People were tired of my ever flowing fountain of knowledge, and began to withdraw because they didn't feel important. I went into panic mode and tried all the harder to pretend I didn't need anyone and had complete control.
I started to look around and took inventory. I was doing all the things the feminists did and acting like the strong women on TV. Why wasn't it working for me?
Because God wasn't calling me to be a feminist or to be like anyone else. He was calling me to respect everyone. That required a complete overhaul of my life. I knew what God wasn't calling me to, so who was I? What was He asking of me?
The following are three of the many things God did when he performed major heart surgery on me:
- Showed me His commands in His Word. Respecting everyone isn't just a helpful suggestion, it's a command from God. (1 Peter 2:17)
- Remonstrated His love, which allowed me to love others from His overflow. This eliminated my need for control.
- Taught me that men need to be respected as the leader of the home, the provider,the achiever, protector, and as a person worthy of deep intimacy.
He has taught me much, loved me much. Respect works for me this Wednesday and every day.
Head over to Rocks In My Dryer to see what's working for everyone else!
Amen sister! Sometimes revelations hurt but in the end we are much better off!
Blessings to you!
Posted by: Kim | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 04:01 AM
Well said, that was excellent! Also, thank you so much for the writer's magazine. I am really enjoying it.
Posted by: Gretchen | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 04:59 AM
Hi Audra, liked reading your perspective. I had a little variation of the feminist thing on my blog post a few days ago...http://rumorsofglory.net/blog/?p=321
Posted by: Lucille Zimmerman | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 07:13 AM
I can totally relate. I want my husband to be "the head" but I'm a recovering control freak. Pruning can be painful, but it makes the vine healthier to bear good fruit. Loved your WFMW! Blessings, Whitney
Posted by: Whitney @ Baby Tunnel Exodus | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 08:13 AM
Thank you for your transparency. I grew up a first born with a father telling me I could do it all too. We're doing our daughters a disservice teaching them independence. Independence can be healthy as long as it's with a servant's heart!
Love ya!
Posted by: Susan Tuten | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 09:01 AM
Thank you for sharing this! What a blessing to find other Christian women that are trying to be what God wants them to be! Have a blessed day!
Posted by: Sherry | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Yes! I had a very similar experience. My marriage was always wonderful, but I was exhausted. Turns out, wearing the pants and the skirt at the same time is a LOT of work! When my husband and I decided to structure our relationship and family life around God's Word, everything changed. I could finally relax. Hubby could finally step up and be the head of our household. We're just flat...happier. Imagine that - doing things God's way works! :)
Thanks for this post - a great tesimony and reminder.
p.s. hope the cookies turn out for you :)
Posted by: Daiquiri | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 12:32 PM
Hey ladies thanks for all your comments. I love what Daiquiri said about trying to wear the pants and the skirt. That can downright hot and not in the way a spouse likes!
Posted by: Audra | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 12:41 PM
Audra, what a great post. Thanks for being so open and honest.
Thanks also for checking out my blog. You're right - sometimes focusing on what we can do is just what God uses to motivate us to try the things we think we can't do!
Posted by: Chelsey @ Brown Eyed Basics | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Wow - what an amazing post! Thank you SO MUCH for writing this today!
Posted by: Rachel | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 03:28 PM
Amen and Amen, loved it!
blessings, Penny Raine
http://www.pennyraine.com/blog
Posted by: Penny Raine | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 04:49 PM
Thanks for sharing! Really touching and inspiring.
I came by to let you know that we selected you for the Brillante Weblog Award! It is for your great advice and openness that we think you are Brillante! Congratulations! You can grab your button at http://mommylounge.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/mommy-lounge-blog-awards/
Keep up the good work!
Kalisha and Reneca
Posted by: Kalisha | Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 05:46 PM
I love this! You hit the nail on my head. I've been searching for insight in this area and you've helped me in many ways. Thanks!
Posted by: Kristin Maynes | Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 07:57 AM
I love this! You hit the nail on my head. I've been searching for insight in this area and you've helped me in many ways. Thanks!
Posted by: Kristin Maynes | Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 07:59 AM
Such a beautiful and insightful post. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Posted by: Kate | Friday, September 12, 2008 at 06:57 PM